Weird string of events this evening
I cancelled a photoshoot that I had with an extremely good photographer because I have finals to study for and I need to make money first. I figured he would understand but he didn’t. He proceeded for the next 5 minutes (felt like a million years) to tell me how unprofessional I was and that he is never going to shoot with me. I cried. It sucked. Realized I should probably stop modeling cause people can be real jerks.
Class was awesome, but none of you care about my dorky obsession with good professors.
Then I went to work. And tonight was the night that I realized that I’m not going to do it anymore. It’s just not my thing.
The first client was way too pushy. Too grabby. Granted, he was sweet and young and attractive. But I’m not one who enjoys feeling like a piece of meet.
The second client came still in his business-suit. He’s 29 (I guessed his age right on the dot too, I surprised myself) and he is a bit pudgy but he has a very sweet face and nice eyes. He also held very good conversation and I thought he was gonna turn out to be a really nice client. So I give him a wonderful massage (and he compliments me tremendously) and then I flip him over.
I swear, the second this man got hard shit hit the fan.
He starts asking me about what I’ll do for all the money in his wallet.
“How much do you have?”
“I dunno, four hundred, or something”
Or something? So I take off my clothes down to my panties for 150 (which is too cheap but he was being annoying) and then proceed to do my thing. This guy ends up having an incredibly powerful ass fetish. He saw it and could not fucking shut up about how he wants to fuck me in the ass.
Sidenote: This reminds me of my tattoo artist who, while leaning over myself and shoving a needle through my skin, is telling me how he’s going to pound my ass. And people wonder why I have never had anal sex. Yep. Well except for the non-consensual time when I was younger….
Back to story: So this guy won’t shut up about my ass. I tease him with it. But it’s like he can’t seem to get really turned on because he’s thinking too much about fucking me in the ass, or something. I’m getting frustrated. I want to get the fuck out of there.
He keeps asking. And then he keeps apologizing and telling me he’s a normal guy and he’s not a creep and that I don’t have to break any morals. Then he proceeds to tell me how, since we’re both normal and we’re alone we should be having loads of fun, and break the morals. Hah.
Anyway, we’ve gone 15 minutes over at this point and I’m really fuckin lost of how to get him off. So I blatantly look at the clock.
Him: “You know what, just go home.”
He tipped me 120 (crap) and then puts on his pants and pitches a tent and tells me he’s not weird and that we’re both so normal and that I’m too normal and that I’m the kind of girl that he wants to take out for dinner and have hours of sex with and then he tells me I’m great at my job and then he leaves telling me not to follow him too closely.
I sat there complete lost, trying to psychoanalyze what just happened. I realize it’s that I am too much of a person. I don’t have a good act. I don’t fake it. Guys want fake. Guys want fantasy. I want truth, so this isn’t the job for me. I’m pretty sure tonight is my last night.
So it takes me two hours to get home on the blasted subway (am i British? why did I just say blasted?) and I’m walking home, following close behind this girl with very cute grey heels. We are walking in synchoronicity and the wind is freezing my almost bare legs. I try to call my boyfriend (I like to do that when I’m walking home because it makes me feel safer) but he must have fallen asleep so I leave a message, hang up, cross the street (still following this girl, haphazardly) and a man is walking in our direction.
Gets close to her to pass, and then violently spits at her feet and screams “I HATE YOU BITCH EVERYBODY HATES YOU!”
She is stunned and then starts to walk away (he doesn’t follow her but now he’s approaching me). So I turn around and try to call the boy again. I turn the corner and then notice that there is a man standing across the street. I figure if I can stay where people are this guy won’t say anything to me.
Remind you, I didn’t make it to the bank before I rode the train, so I had 400 bucks or more in cash in my pocket and a laptop at my side.
I leave a stupid message on the boy’s machine and wait until the coast is clear to walk back. I walk quickly with chills down my spine.
I’m tired of this life. Really sick of it. Now it’s really late and I have to be up in 4 hours and take 2 exams. I’ll update again when my life takes a 180.
